We uncover the secrets of motivation, good habits and self-care with the help of Slovak psychologist Simona Belovičová.
Self-care can be used as an umbrella term for all the actions and things we do to be self-aware. It can possibly be misunderstood as an exercise in escaping from the hectic noise and speed at which busy city life moves and takes you. According to Psychology Today, self-care is “the intentional time you spend with yourself paying attention to yourself, not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that ensures you are taking care of yourself.”
It is in our accelerated world that the concept of self-care has really taken off. Self-care is not just a trend, however, but a profound philosophy that aims to bring body, mind and spirit into harmony. Behind this term lies a multi-layered mix of theories and practices aimed at promoting and maintaining individual well-being.
Self-care is not simply a set of activities one performs, but an attitude, a way of life. It is based on the assumption that we are only able to care for others and operate productively in the world if we care for ourselves first. The idea of selfcare is a powerful concept that goes far beyond superficial wellness activities. Self-care is a way for us to better understand ourselves, meet our needs and be able to live a fulfilling life. Self-care reminds us that we are our own most important resource.
Although the concept of self-care is promising, many people face challenges implementing it in their hectic daily lives. The constant distractions of technology, societal expectations and lack of time can make it difficult to find time for oneself. That’s why finding motivation and dedication in our daily lives is the best way of finding space for ourselves.
“Motivation is the psychological force that drives us forward – just as a car needs petrol, we need motivation. It is our driving fuel to carry out actions and to achieve goals. Everyone needs motivation; it is essential for studying, work, child rearing, relationships and conflict resolution,” says Simona Belovičová.
“If motivation is to be sustained, it must come from the depths of our psyche. For example, when we talk about motivation for a lifelong relationship, it depends on the depth of the decision one has made for the other. Let’s put it this way – if spouses decide to choose each other, their intrinsic motivation is stronger than their current disagreements. They are motivated in the smaller everyday tasks, they care more about each other, and they resolve disagreements because they have a constant motivation in mind – to stay in the relationship.”
“When parents encourage children to do what they enjoy and are talented at, they teach them to do things for intrinsic gain. Intrinsic motivation refers to all the things that we enjoy and give us meaning. In contrast, extrinsic motivation is doing things just for the (extrinsic) reward. For example, when someone does a job just for the paycheck.
I once had a client who after a while stopped finding the work he was doing, even with a high salary, fulfilling. So, it is ideal to be intrinsically motivated. External motivation, for example in the form of recognition from others, is just the icing on the cake.”
“A common problem is that people put everything on one card – they go hard after their career, leave hobbies or relationships aside and suffer from a lack of diverse incentives. They miss meeting friends, cultivating hobbies where they can relax.
If someone needs to be motivated, I recommend talking to a psychologist. I had a client who lost motivation for his studies, but eventually regained it through our counselling process with a greater emphasis on quality relationships and hobbies. According to research, movement, whether in the form of sports or walking and dancing, or even working in the garden or reading fiction, is ideal for maintaining motivation.”
“There’s no need to wait to see if you feel like it – pick up a book and read, you’ll get into it after a while. There is no need to think about not wanting to do sport – you have to do the first exercise and you’re good to go. This process works for problems with motivation in most people.
However, if this process is not enough, it may be a case of severe burnout, which should be addressed with a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist.”
“American psychologist Abraham Harold Maslow created a hierarchy of needs in which the fulfilment of higher needs is a prerequisite for the fulfilment of lower ones. In practice, it works like this: we must have enough sleep (lower need) to be able to perform at work (higher need).
The lower needs also include rest, which is a prerequisite for effective functioning in relationships and at work. Regular relaxation is the basic prevention of burnout. Those who burn out lose motivation even in activities they were previously enthusiastic about. Conversely, those who are mindful of their regeneration remain prospering.”
“According to the Yerks-Dodson law, motivation is only beneficial up to a point. It is scientifically proven that if a person is overmotivated, their performance declines. Our performance is highest when motivation is optimal and sustainable.
When you remember your goal, it shouldn’t depress or stress you out. If you have decided to play sports, just give yourself a lower frequency to start with; if you can maintain it, gradually increase it. They say that slowly you go further, and this is also true when it comes to achieving goals, because a reasonable goal will motivate you in itself.”
